Make Things Better

Learn to Drive on the Freeway

Traffic is a very unfortunate side-effect of the lack of communication and cooperation on the road. Here’s what everyone should be doing on the freeway.

The Left Lane

Passing only. PASSING ONLY. PASSING ONLY. Holy shit California drivers suck at this one. If you are not actively passing a car at a reasonable pace, do not be in the left lane. I guarantee that there is a car behind you that wants to go faster. Move over to the right, where you can still drive at whatever speed you’re comfortable with, without impeding other drivers. When you approach a car going slower than you, move into the left lane and pass them, before changing back to your original lane. And when I say actively passing, I mean actively. Possibly speeding up for the pass. Knowing that when you’re done, you’re going to move over. Not this wishy-washy, “I’m kind of going the same speed as this other guy so let’s have a fucking tea party while we drive next to each other,” shit. I will wreck you.

The Carpool Lane

Yes, good. You’re carpooling and making the world a better place. Keep in mind that you can go whatever speed you want to. And, you can be in any lane you want to. They gave you this nice exclusive lane because you’re being such a good person. Don’t be shitty about it. People want the carpool lane to be about as fast as the left lane. If you and your passenger are going slowly, move over. You don’t have to be in the carpool lane. It’s a privilege, and if you slow that lane down you’re ruining it for everyone. Let me repeat: You can be in any lane you want. Go to the lane such that nobody has to pass you on the right.

Trucks

They have to deal with shitty drivers all the time. The main thing to do is to give them space. If you ride their ass, they literally can’t see you. If you change lanes too closely in front of them, they have to crush their brakes because they can’t see you there, either.

Trucks suck at slowing down. When lanes are merging, keep this in mind. Just brake and let them be in front of you, and then pass them on the left.

Don’t get mad at them when one truck passes another for what seems to be an eternity. They have to pay attention to things that you don’t, like keeping maximum momentum going up a hill. If they are coming up on a truck going slower, they have to pass. If they slow down, they lose their momentum and will almost certainly stall out.

In short, trucks are huge and haul all of our shit so give them some space and respect.

It’s not about you. It’s about everyone. Just be in the lane that works for your speed. Pass people on the left, and don’t make them pass you on the right. It’s dangerous and increases traffic.

Check your fucking mirrors. If there’s someone behind you and you’re not actively passing someone, move the fuck over. You can go whatever speed you want. That’s what ‘merica’s all about. Just do it somewhere where you’re not getting in other people’s way. Check your fucking mirrors. Please. 

In high traffic, nothing really makes a difference. And in love traffic, you can pretty much do what you like, although it would be nice if you still followed these guidelines.

Don’t Do Black Friday

      

Can you please NOT go shopping on Black Friday?

Black Friday embodies much of what’s evil in the States. It celebrates greed on a day immediately following a celebration of thankfulness. It is consumerism at its worst. Remember the story of the man who was trampled to death on Black Friday? That actually happened.

That’s you. No, not the one being trampled (this isn’t a scare tactic). You’re the one doing the damage. People are so overcome with greed they lose their humanity. I bet you pass right by someone in need of help tomorrow.

This day, Thanksgiving, on which you’re supposed to be thankful for what you already have, is followed so immediately by Black Friday that you might be leaving right after dinner to line up. Christmas is slowly taking over.

Why? Because of the sale? What is it exactly you’re going to get? You have no idea. You’re actually going for the sale, and just buying things that you think will work as gifts. That’s backwards.

Shop online. Make something. Buy from a small, local business. If you must go shopping, go sometime after. Yes, some things may be sold out, but it’s not a big deal. There’s other stuff. Show your child that life’s not over if he or she doesn’t get exactly what they want.

This message is for you. The friend who is getting dragged into the fray. The parents looking for what their kid wants at a low price. The young adults. I’m talking to you. The people who already know they’re not going out have made up their mind. But you, you actually need to actively change your mind. Don’t read this and feel guilty as you go anyway. Don’t read this and agree with what I’m saying, just to push it aside because you, “already made plans.”

Change your fucking plans. Just don’t go. It’s the better, easier path, and you’ll be just fine. You’re not missing out on anything important. Make the decision, have some resolve, and just wait. Yes, you. You’re reading this right now and I’m talking to you and you still haven’t realized it and you’re still going to go. Don’t.

Feel good about it. Feel proud that you’re not part of the mob that’s going to be on every news station tomorrow. Feel proud that you haven’t fallen to consumerism and the crowd.

Say it out loud.

“I’m not going shopping on Black Friday.”

Ride a Bicycle

            

It’s fun. It’s easy. And apparently, you never forget how. Bikes might be the most efficient form of transportation, plus you get attractive hipster points for riding them. They’re customizable, fast, and healthy.

They don’t use fossil fuels and don’t get stuck in traffic. Bikes tone your legs and can be parked almost anywhere. Also, they’re comparably cheap and easy to maintain.

Even though you can still get a DUI on a bike, they are far less dangerous (to other people) to ride home from the bars than cars.

Riding a bike feels like you’re flying. Sometimes I get high and just zoom around empty parking lots for an hour. Bring friends.

You can do it. There’s that distance that is too far to walk (even though it’s really not), and should feel guilty to drive that’s perfect for a bike. Again, this is about you being too lazy and passive to make the change. If it takes you less than 30 minutes to get to work and there aren’t any gigantic hills, you should be biking. If you’ve walked there in the past but usually drive, you should be biking. If you’re in college, you should be biking.

Concerts downtown. Bars, clubs, and movie theaters. Your friend’s house. House parties. Running errands that don’t require carrying things.

It comes down to this: why would you use something that is powerful enough to tow a boat to transport one person? You had better have a good reason (carpooling, time, terrain, safety, etc.)

No fixies. Wear a helmet.

Don’t Smoke Cigarettes

                        

If you stopped smoking now,

-In 20 minutes, your blood pressure and pulse rate decrease, and the body temperature of your hands and feet increase. Carbon monoxide in cigarette smoke reduces the blood’s ability to carry oxygen. At 8 hours, the carbon monoxide level in your blood decreases to normal. With the decrease in carbon monoxide, your blood oxygen level increases to normal.
-At 24 hours, your risk of having a heart attack decreases.
-At 48 hours, nerve endings start to regrow and the ability to smell and taste is enhanced.
-Between 2 weeks and 3 months, your circulation improves, walking becomes easier and you don’t cough or wheeze as often. Phlegm production decreases. Within several months, you have significant improvement in lung function.
-In 1 to 9 months, coughs, sinus congestion, fatigue and shortness of breath decrease as you continue to see significant improvement in lung function. Cilia, tiny hair-like structures that move mucus out of the lungs, regain normal function.
-In 1 year, risk of coronary heart disease and heart attack is reduced to half that of a smoker.
-Between 5 and 15 years after quitting, your risk of having a stroke returns to that of a non-smoker.
-In 10 years, your risk of lung cancer drops. Additionally, your risk of cancer of the mouth, throat, esophagus, bladder, kidney and pancreas decrease. Even after a decade of not smoking however, your risk of lung cancer remains higher than in people who have never smoked. Your risk of ulcer also decreases.
-In 15 years, your risk of coronary heart disease and heart attack in similar to that of people who have never smoked. The risk of death returns to nearly the level of a non-smoker.

It’s an amazing achievement of the lobbyist system in our government that tobacco usage is still going strong. It helps that tobacco is so addictive and so easy to acquire.

It shouldn’t be. It shouldn’t be legal while marijuana isn’t. I don’t get it. I’ve smoked a fair number of cigarettes and spliffs myself, but it’s just so unhealthy I don’t think I’d ever be a consistent smoker.

It’s extremely addictive. It does more harm than benefit. It hurts the people around you. It’s arbitrarily sexy. It makes the world a worse place. It helps one of the worst corporations in the world, Big Tobacco. Do you have any idea how much better the world would be if there was no tobacco?

It boggles my mind that the addictive power of Nicotine and the political power of BT and their lobbyists is winning over good health and non-addiction.

Stop smoking. It might be hard, but I guarantee it will be worth it in the long run.

(Source: facts-about-smoking.com)

Men: Understand the Gender-Inequality

      

Here are some sweeping generalizations, vaguely supported by statistical and historical evidence:

You are stronger and faster. You do more work when having sex. You are smarter and more confident. You are better drivers and less prone to being emotional. Your hormones make you stronger.

But here are some others: You earn more money without doing more work. You don’t have to wear high heels and uncomfortably revealing clothes to look appealing. You can hold a one-on-one conversation with a guy without having to prove yourself first. You don’t get ogled by strangers. You don’t get raped. 

Understand what women have to deal with every day, and what you’re subconsciously doing to contribute to that. There is a huge chip on every woman’s shoulders that you don’t see, but only you can lift.

There is a fine line between chivalry and sexism. Hold that door open for her, but not because she’s a woman. Stand next to her in a conversation, not slightly in front of her. Don’t drive her car.

Women should be able to argue without being “bitches.” They can also argue with men without your help. All too often I see a man step in on behalf of a woman, as if in defense. No. Unless you’re specifically asked for, let her lose or win by herself.

All I’m saying is to be conscious of what you’re doing and the implications your actions have. You can do whatever you want to do, but you had better have a good, egalitarian reason for doing it.

We need to embrace our actual differences and erase those that we’ve created. There are times when a woman will need the help of a man. And just the same, there should be times when men need the help of a woman, and not have to feel ashamed of it.

Ladies: Understand the Double-Standard

                 

This will not be my only post on gender-inequality, so don’t be mad about the things I don’t say. They will be said in the future. I know that there are double-standards everywhere in every direction, but this entry is solely addressing a double-standard put on men to be both egalitarian and chivalrous.

There is no doubt that gender-inequality between men and women is clearly in favor of men. I think that one reason we are still figuring this out is due to the way in which the feminist movement communicates their message. If you are a woman who wants to be treated equally, really think about what that means.

The way we treat each other is the only equality we have control over. Read that again. The one thing we can control is the way we treat each other.

If men shouldn’t hit women, women shouldn’t hit men. If you say it’s okay for a woman to hit a man because she is weaker and it’s only playful, you’re automatically giving up ground.

If men should put the toilet seat down, women should put it up. Both require someone to touch the toilet seat. It’s not that gross.

Women and men can hold the door for men and women. Nothing wrong with that.

Split the fucking bill. Alternate paying for each date. Go Dutch. Offer to drive or chip in for gas. Figure out some sort of system that is fair and doesn’t equate oral sex to money.

Try not to use sex appeal to your advantage. If you don’t like being ogled but show cleavage to gain an advantage, you are being a hypocrite.

Buy your own fucking weed. I get infuriated when I hear a girl being proud that she’s never paid for weed.

Don’t get guys buy you drinks if you don’t buy guys drinks. This is a toughy, but really think about it. Guys don’t get pampered - Why should you? Personally, I’d be extremely attracted to a girl who turns down my offer to buy her a drink but still stays for the conversation.

And although I could go on for ages, my whole message here is for you to see what women are and aren’t doing to gain their own equality. If you really want it, earn it. Don’t get upset because a guy didn’t go easy on you because you’re a girl. If he treats you like an equal in an argument and you think he’s being an asshole, you’re falling back into your safe zone of femininity. Don’t accept the benefits of being treated like a lady if you don’t want the discrimination of being a girl. 

Don’t Say “Bless You”

I know it’s a habit of a lot of people, but what does it really do? And why the fuck is it the polite thing to do? And why do people even care?

Saying “bless you” is silly. Think about it. Think about where it originated, and what the people who originally said it were thinking when they said it.

Do you believe your friend’s soul is escaping when they sneeze? Is a demon trying to possess his or her body? Are you still trying to bless people against the bubonic plague?

Everyone sneezes. You don’t acknowledge coughs, yawns, blinks, or itches, do you?

So let’s stop. We can do this. We can move forward with a purpose. Lose the useless  vestiges of your ancestors. And if someone actually gets offended that you didn’t acknowledge the clearing of their sinuses, ask them what they really have to be upset about.

Smile

    

Smile. Often.

Smile because even just going through the motions stimulates your muscle memory and you’ll feel the slightest bit better.

Smile because people have imitation written into their genes. The same thing that makes you yawn when you see someone else works for smiles, and thus smiles are actually contagious.

Smile because it’s disarming. If some sort of argument is escalating, or if you can tell someone is taking what you said the wrong way, smile. A smile implies good intentions.

Smile because you have nothing else to do. When I’m walking form A to B and have nothing that I need to be immediately think of, I just run through fond memories until I’m smiling. Then I usually start laughing to myself. And people who see me see that I’m in a good mood and that puts them in a good mood.  So smile because it leads to laughing.

Smile when you order coffee in the morning. It brightens the cashier’s day, and why shouldn’t you be smiling? It’s a new day and you’re getting coffee!

Smile because it’s the best way to flirt.

Smile because even though there are always things to be sad about, it doesn’t do you any good to dwell on them.

Smile because you need practice for when your smile really counts.

Smile with your eyes.

Nobody can smile all the time. We need those other emotions and expressions to make smiling worthwhile. Just, whenever you don’t have an expression on your face, why not make it a smile?

Smile. Often.

Learn Science

              

I’m not asking you to be a science major, nor be good at math. Just learn about it. Understand the scientific process and how fucking great it is. Appreciate the rigor applied to publications, and lament at how easily it is pulled apart by uneducated conservatives.

By the way, unless otherwise stated, the term conservative does not apply to politics.

Adjective: Holding to traditional attitudes and values and cautious about change or innovation, typically in politics or religion. I use the older, more conservative definition.

Science is one of the few things that separate humans from Earth’s other inhabitants. We are creatures in need of constant pursuits. Science is the pursuit of knowledge. Knowledge in any direction without a goal. That’s cool.

So learn about it! Understand what you’re being told and more importantly, how the people who are telling you know it. I can tell you just about anything, but with science I can tell you something and how I know that it’s true. And then you can do what I did by yourself, and you’ll be sure to see it for yourself. Beautiful.

When you start to understand science, everything changes. You get a vague comprehension of the astronomical distances and we use. You stop believing and start understanding.